In A Perfect World

Hey Guys...Im back with another thought....

AS the ending days of the year approach itself, I sit back and i just think...i think about all ive been thru and i think about the challenges that lie ahead in front of me, and I will take it on!!! No but seriously though, I am soo sorry ive been MIA for the last coupla of weeks but I have been on this spiritual journey that we all go thru at some point of time, and just try to figure out how not to think about what happens next with me and just live the day for what it is...and with 2009 rolling around...Heres what I know, what I learned, and hopefully it can help whoever is reading this particular blog...heres what i learned..

.........in a pefect world, one will never have to learn the har lessons that there is to learn in life. You would have the job you always dreamed off, the perfect friends who you see in the movie screens who would never comprimise your bonds, or stab you in the back because they know your worth and they would do nothing to let you down. You will have the perfect family, the ones who, if by any chance u slip and fall, will catch you withno hesitations....the ones who give you all the love your heart can ever want in life, the ideal shouler to cry on whenever you need it. YOu will meet the perfect person, the one that catches your eye when they pass you, and he will be the right one. The one you pray for every night and day, the one who you feel all your breakups led you too, the one who was ment to change your life. And you will live happily ever after..Because you have a perfect life..what more can you ask for??



............Well, I learned this world isnt perfect at all. And I do mean NOT perfect.....and every thing good or bad that happens to you happens for a reason....So what I do, I just sit back and pray..I pray that one day this economy will become better and I will get the job where I would make the difference in peoples lives and wake up enjoying every day, and as for right now..I think i actually do. I pray that I can have a family who really makes me feel like family rather than a relative, and you know what ..though they are not blood i do have a family that makes me feel like family rather than just a cousin or brother. ...And I just know that GOd will send me the man to blow my world away..one who listens to me, who provides that shelter for me...who saves this superhero..and you know...He did......And ill tell you, i just know hes the one for me...and though someone else is already in that place that i want to be in right now...i know...i feel....and for that...I pray...until then..the friendship is just amazing....I wont hate...i will love..and i just know one day soon...it will click....I pray. This I pray...and i learned prayer works..


You know it took me a long time to write this..because I didnt know what to say and how to say it but i think I just said it perfectly..haha

Merry Xmas and Happy NEw Year...2009


Sincerely

A.E.

the Coldest Winter

Hey guys..its A.E. again back with something on the brain...

.....its the last month of the year, and my o my time has passed me by! Damn, its like last week was Labor day weekend, when i first moved out here with all the hopes and ambition, and now im here in December feeling a lil frustrated, confused, and homesick. I must admit though, Atlanta is starting to grow on me just a lil bit...yup guys, im starting to adjust to this slow lifestlye. I dont know why Im scared to ease up and get comfortable, maybe it's because everytime i feel like i get comfortable, something goes wrong in my life (especially since lliving out here), so im always on my grind and always remaining busy ...SO that time can kind of pass by and I forget about all the negative emotions i feel about this place...so that I can surpress the empty feeling I have inside curently..but i do have good news...i return to my home at the end of the month..I return backt o NY for the New Year...u know its funny because when i was in NY i would count down the days when i would able to return out here and now that im out here....I am counting the days down till I return back home. .....To a place where I wont be as alone, where i can take dance classes with people who share the same passion as mines, to a place where i know Love will be waiting, and people arent phony or bull shitters....

I dont know world im just a lil jaded...I guess thats why they say be careful what you ask for because u just may get it ..I asked to be taken to a place where i can concentrate and here I am in a new place and all im concentrating on the shit that brings me down, things that I said I wouldnt even give time of day to when i was living back in NY...Guess the joke was on me...But effectivly I will be a changed man...Ima basically do me and try to enjoy the good things about this place...








this is A.E. signing off......tellling everyone to listen to BEyonces DELUXE album..esp the last song on disc 2

Annoying A Town

Wassup Guys ..it A.E. again ...Sorry I must admit I have been gone for a lil while, but with the new move, working 2 jobs now(yay!) , and still trying to adjust you can say that I was a little bit busy lol. Things besides that havent really changed for me. I ment to write you when i went on a date that Sunday after Obama got eleceted so that i can tell you how much pleasurable it was..until a week later the guy who I on a date with turned out to be somebody who wasnt work mentioning so i decided to cancel my boast and proceed on with my lfie because he isnt worth lol. ..then I ment to write you the following week when I met another person who just sounded so genuine and so unique...and guess what?? soon as i was about to write in about him...Found out some things that even JL King will frown his face upon if u catch my drift...lol. so what brings me here...Fustrations, anger, sorrow, lonliness, hoplessnessm happiness, exhaustion, everything .... One thing in particular happened to me today..I was in the barbershop getting my first AtL haircut, and these dudes inside of their was ignoranr central. They bad mouthed everyone, including women, white folks, and of course homsoexuals. I find it amazing where this ignorance comes from, because the main people in ther conversations tried to imply history not realizing that they are preaching folklore. They said that us gay men cant call anything discrimination because we "choose" to be this way. LOl it took an act of Congress for me to keep my mouth closed and not flip out in there and set the record straight. Luckily it was a lady with her son that was on my page and she kept saying to herself "i cant stand ignorance", and i just had to agree with her. Im allergic to it. Now I see why some of my associates arent to thrilled about having a black man for president. TO think that the weeks preceeding and the day of the election, we all came together for one purpose, and I actually felt proud to be an African American....and when November 5th came, it was if none of these events took place, like the battery was taken out of us as a culture...we went dead. Why is it that we can come together as one for the major things, but the small things that matter we always have to be crabs in a fish bucket...I dont get it man i really dont...It makes me sad. And im officially tired of Atlanta right now, that ignoranance, the MEN, the public transportation, the retail work...Lord im holding on but sometimes i feel like im going to loose it. As Danity Kane sings....Is anybody listening? Can anybody answer my prayer?? Please say Yess.... This is A.E. siging off

LIFT EVERY VOICE AND SING

This is A.E. back with another thought...


As I opened my eyes this morning, I couldnt help but smile and rub my red eyes from the previous night. I havent slept actually..I was up crying and rejoicing at the same times...I was dancing and singing ..hell I was doing alot of things that just came to my mind because in my wildest dream I would never know one day I would wake up and be able to say:

I HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT ...

This goes further than Mr. Obama...this goes back to my ancestors, to the mistreatment of me and my friends because of our skin color, this goes to the mistreament of my mother growing up in segregated America..this goes to my great great grandmother who was a slave, this goes to the elders befoe my time who fought and fought for this experience to happen...this goes to that little guy that i seen on Tv who delievered a speech when he say that now he can say that he could be anything he wants to be because this man has been chosen by us to lead this country. For this quick moment..I stopped thinking abou tmy sorrows, about my lonliness , about my troubles that I face...About the fact that I have no Tv or that the second job i was supposed to get played me off...I forgot my homesicknesss...I forgot about even eating because I was so got damn happy that OBAMA won....Even writing about it now sometimes gets me caught up because We as a people have fought so hard and endured even more to live to see this day....I am a part of history now aNd I am happy ..I am happy.....I am happy...whoever reads this...Just know that I am a firm beleiver now...as he said in his speech..that dreams do come true and Got dammit Im gonna fight long and hard to accomplish my dream.....


Glory be to GOd for this event............


This is A.E. singing off.................................GOT DAMMIT WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!!!!!


OBAMA!!!!! BLESS YOU

Moving On Up

Hey guys ...A.E. back from a little drought to update yall on my drought

Whats going on readers??? I am glad to say that Im officially in my own place now..So let the horrible rent stories begin! Lol, nah Im just kidding but yeah Im finally here lol. Im having a few tech. difficulties right now, but hey im happy that I am here. Its a lil quiet in my life right now, I guess cause for the past two months I was around my screaming lil cousins and the whole family so everyday it was live in there, but now that Im alone (well i have a roomate but he not here right now), I gues im truly hearing the quietness of Ga...damn, its crazy. Today, I got a very wonderful surprise from my cousin speaking of family, she called me and told me she was coming over, and in her hands were groceries...I was shocked out of my ass because I was actually on my way to shop but she lightend my load alot and I couldnt be more grateful for what she done. My little brats were with her and they was so excited to see me, I guess my presence really does matter to people after all, AWWWWWWWWWW... REguardless of how much you fight and argue with your family love them with your all cause I know with mines when times get tough, they really have my back just like I will have thier! : )


Now, I am still looking for job number 2, but i know soon enough itll come to me. What I have realized in this journey is that I have eyes watching me in that wonderful place called Heaven, and those eyes have always watched my back, and I think it was just proven this morning. So I guess im still gonig thru this to toughen me up and humble me down in the same respect so that when i start my voyage as an Entertainer, Ill be ready. Im still waiting to hear from some jobs though, so I hope this one job in particular calls me because it revolves around music and entertainer and HELLO thats what my life is so...Ill pray just like I did before I got my license lol. Till then ill just be strectching more and more in my pockets until something pulls thru. But like I said Im just glad I can focus more a guess in the quiet. i have a couple of songs to wrtie and dances to create lol. And MY SINGING HAS IMPROVED...ahhhh sruggle will be real rough but there are many hidden blessings in it, and rather then me fixating on the bad parts of it, Im going to start searching for option number 2. lol Welcome to my story




this is A.E. signing off and telling all....VOTE OBAMA!! even for lil ol me :)

Noahs Arc ...GIving hope

So this is me, A.E., hitting u with another fact of reality in my world


Last night, me and a couple of my close friends went and saw the movie Noah's Arc; Jumping the Broom". After waiting in line for what seems like forever, and dealing with a bunch of not- so- happy homosexual men of color lol, We finally was seated in a o so freaking hot theater with Coronas and popcorn( lmao who drinks at the movies??). Anyways, that movie was freaking GOOD. I thought it was going to suck because the show only went on for two seasons, BUT its a good thing Im not paid for my thoughts because that I be a broke man right now. It was certain things that I found to be too extreme (im not going to spoil it), but overall it was a really positive movie (just like the show) for all of black gay men to see. After viewing the movie, me and friends decided to hang out and chill, but in the back of my mind, a question lingered from the movie; Can it be that us gay men are ment to have a happily ever after with someone we love? I mean im bout to put you up on real talk. In the white gay world, i know most of those gay men have forever, it is seen on TV everywhere. But as for us in the gay black world, forever or even a little portion of it seems to be a distant fantasy that we all crave for, whether most of us wants to admit it or not. As seen in the movie, some of us may go around and sleep for the world for the benefit of not only sexual pleasure but companionship. Some of us may play the bitter cold hearted man (yeah thats me lol) who continuously down plays love and says it could never happen to them, but deep down inside we want just as bad as the ones who want to fall in love quick, the ones who wear their heart on their sleeves. And its movies like that that install just a little bit of hope in us to not give up on God's greatest gift.....BUT....Most of us gay men of color think like me, and because they have a love story that went wrong to search for another being to possibly share their lives with is not quite something on thier to-do lists, or maybe, because the society puts so much stress on us about our lifestyle and who we love, it takes this negative influence that tells us that happily ever after will never be granted because we are living a life of deviance. ....Deep shit huh? Well, this lingered in my mind and Im really glad for that movie comming out, maybe it will undo some psychological damage that is already within us, and like it did with me last night, it will relight some of the hope that we can have a longtime love in our lives. Non judged, non hated, just love. Ok thats all i have to say




This is A.E., signing off

Roommates, Jobs, and Driving O My

This is A.E. again with a wonderful thought

...Sorry for not getting to you sooner...But Ive just been busy running around...Gee I actually like the sound of that..me and busy mixed together. I just recently viewed and apartment with my friend for the move in to be soon..I mean its cute for a first apartment and you know the hardest lesson for me to learn(and I did) was not to complain so much and just sit back and receive your blessings. I also got the second job at Godiva so I have to sit here and figure out how me schedule is going to go. Lets c...being that out of all retail I absolutely HATE clothing stores, I think Im going to just do 2 days at the already failing business place called J Crew, and the rest of the days at Godiva. Maybe we I get a motor vehicle I can open up my Sundays, but Im just taking it a day at a time and not look toooo much into the future though I always love to prepare, it keep me busy and gives me purpose I guess. Today I went searching for another job, to hopefully replace the failing J Crew because if I do get this apartment then it would be kind of far, then again so will the one be in Godiva so ill just take it one day at a time like I said. I hope the Godiva store is a real good experience, and if not you know Ill just keep looking and praying lol. O today, I met this dance crew from New Zealand!! Can you believe that! they are actually in town for the a choreographers ball that is happening on Sunday (and u know Im gonna be there!!), so I gave them my number and I cant wait to c what they got. Maybe we can work on something before they leave..you know im all about NETWORKING...but in the meantime I need to get so damn networking cards dammit!!!



This is A.E. Signing off.....

Drivers Card

This is A.E. here with another exciting thing yet once again

Ok folks, last time i left you, I told you I found a job, and I was officially stating to see the light at the end of the tunnel..Today, I guess i seen it more. After damn near 3 1/2 years of classes and practice: I officially got my License in the state of GA ...am I happy? shit hell fucknig yeah!! I know most people out here look at me like "are you serious" but they dont know how spolied NY'kers are when it comes to transportation. See, our transportation runs 24 hours, so we dont need a car and having a license is like going to college, some people need it and some people really could care less about it. So, yes I am happy. I mean, i knocked over a couple of cones here and there(yeah my backing up sucks), and i may have been gonig UNDER the speed limit in the fast lane, but got damnit I passed! Now comes the goal obtaining my own whip so that I can use it, which is what I am working on now so what I am learning about life is that when one obstacle is accomplished, another one to be done comes RIGHT after it. Its what keeps us focused, and thats how God keeps us on Smash...I realize that things happen surely but surely, and it is truly your job to just keep the motor running, morals in check, and keep smiling. At least now I dont have to hear people's mouth about me and my PERMISSION card to drive lol. Anyway, more the less things in Atlanta is starting to get on track. Hopefully I can make a solid circle of friends, find a career related job OUTSIDE of retail, and the ultimate goal...start off my career as an entertainer...Gee soo much to do and I feel like Im already behind...

Begining a Renewed life

Today is the day I officially start work folks....

..well not like literally now but in a couple of hours I will be going into the work site to begin to process out shipment and placing merchandise out for our stores big opening. Lol this should be fun, I felt like Ive been out of the damn loop so much that I need to get back focus so I can save up and proceed on to other plans. Lately, Ive been feeling like my NY swagger was dying, but now with this opportunity I know Im working on getting it back. Besides, with money i can start to take more dance classes and even get into the vocal thing so i can modify my voice and make history like Diddy would say. Hmmm, I dont know why, but I am nervous. Maybe it is because Ive never had a job here before or maybe its just because ive been waiting for just little opportunity and i cant believe it is here and present. Even thought it is a little part time gig, it means soo much to me in these times of economic hardships, and you will never miss something until you have it and I def missed working, its like second nature for me. So wish me luck folks...Im going in there finally!
Now to get to the reality of things, I also realize that I do not have my own form of transportation so I have to rely on the unreliable transportation that Atlanta has offered me. Great. I think thats why I am nervous, because I have no got damn idea how i am going to do this, but I am going to do this, this Is something I know. It will be a headache, and if my plans go thru about me moving to another spot in different section, it will be damn there impossible. But I will get thru it. Just like I got thru the month of September, I will get thru this month of October with ambitions. Im still waiting on that call from another position offered to me, but they are on vacation right now so i guess I will have to just stick with what I got and deal. You know what im secretly wishing for though, I just hope that a position will open up full time at my current spot now because when it do...I am going to jump soo fast on that opportunity you would swear that I am broke with no money (which i am!) So just hope that everything will be iight.
Moving on to my other important side, me and a friend decided to go ahead and start a dance troupe here in Atlanta. Now dont get me wrong you know dancing is my passion, but the politics of forming a group can be messy, and today it most def. showed its ugly face and already we had a slight disagreement. I was ready to throw in the towel, but, I realize that there is def no I in team, and compromising is your best friend. So with this in mind, me and my friend aka business partner will have a general chate about everything and try to nail this sucker out. I just have a feeling that out of all the groups and companies i danced in, this one will somehow be a breakthrough to something in my life. And for this, I will push this notion. Wish me luck


This is A.E. signing off and saying....VOTE OBAMA 08 lol

Family Woes

Wassup guys...A.E. back again pissed the hell off and ready to smack someone......

Ok...you would think that being that I officially start work next week that things will be looking up right...Yeah right, more of the atl complex is still in full effect and iif its not one damn nightmare then its another one lurking at my fucking door. It is now the 4th of October and i still do not have a license or car to maneuver around Atlanta 's premises what so ever. I would like to believe that this is partly my fault because my mind was still occupied with different stress factors such as finding employment and a place to live aka plan B....But being that one of those pillars were knocked down another one that follows that must come into place. And so.....last week immediately after i was hired, I called the DDS place and scheduled and appt, but unfortunately like NY, about a million people figured out that driving is necessary out here and because of that I didnt get a date until the 23rd of October. Ok, well I need it a little sooner than that, so i was told that they have walk in appointments available .so....GREAT!! Maybe if i can get in there a little sooner and wait the wait I can get it earlier...So last week i brought the conversation up with the person who told me about the walk ins, my beloved cousin, and she told me ok...well we can go (this) week around Wednesday or Thursday in the morning and give it a try...sounds simple right..NOPE well if I havent realize this important lesson life, which is never rely on anyone to do anything for u, I wouldnt have expected the following things to occur..

1. This past tuesday while is preoccupied with my thoughts, my wonderful infant cousin wanted to see if my phone can swim, so she dropped my BLackberry Curve into the tub and ..well..killed it instantly...Her mother, Cara, tried to revive the dead phone but after seeing that it wouldnt work she dismissed it and oped to pay for it. BUT because im currently staying with her and because im not that much of a pain in the ass, I dismissed that notion saying that ill use her old phone until she can be able to purchase another one ..The money she told me she was gonna use to pay for my phone was put aside to PAINT her child's room and i didnt want to be a sour puss....And then when I asked my father if he could buy me a replacement phone, he told me yeah but ima keep pushing the money back for my car so i dismissed that notion 2 because as i said..that car is not something i want.its something I NEED and it seems that my NY parent dont understand that

2. So, wit that said I used her phone and life went on. The next day, she went head and brought the paint and stored it saying that soon enough we are gonna start the painting process. I didnt know the she would be immediately because 2 hours later...we started painting. Lol this is on a Wednesday, so maybe i thought thats she forgot about me and i brought up the situation again and she told me o yeah she would take me the next day....

3. And so I wake up the next morning and o...everyone is still painting around and stuff...ok well i guess I was forgotten about so i just sucked it up and swallowed it and hey i even helped out ...when it was brought up..at 2pm..i said forget it because its late...the place stops appts at 4pm, so whats the point?? Lol, so an option was presented to me stating that tomorrow morning Ill be taken. Cool...so last night I went out, had a ogood time and slept over my friends crib...reminding him that i have to get home in the morning because I have to meet my cousin early to get my license. He agreed because he had an interview the next day at 11 so...it was a good plan.

4. And so I wake up...it is Friday 10am and im on my way back to the house..had to persuade my boy to drop me off at the house cause he def. was gonna drop me to a bus stop, i get here at 1020..run in the house...and take a shower excited that today is the day...I hop in, hop out, and when i come out..my cousin starts painting again...Ok so i try to expedite the process and help her out a lil bit and guess when we finish...lol 2pm. So now Im on my way there and it seems as she was a lil reluctant to go with me, and when we get there around 230...it is a very long line....So as you know im aggravated. I skip the line just to ask about the road test, and the man looks at me and says "Look man, there is 20 people already in front of you, it best to just come back in the morning"....Go back to tell this info to Cara, and shes like " O well what does 20 people have to do with the wait? how many instructors are there??" so i go runnig around asking questions and hittin brick walls....the instructors dont wanna answr questions...the peple waiting are getting upset that i keep skipping, and th eline is getting longer so I purpose a suggestion for me to wait on line and my cousin to help me out and of course, reluctantly she agrees. and gos in herself to ask the question....She comes out and tells me "O yeah the lady said that its 20 people ahead of you and tomoro it is going to be 30 people in total so i dont think that thats a good idea either ....She said that it is just better if you was to make an appt because it secures your time and stuff"....ok.....So i get off the line and go home....mission is not accomplished yet once again



................Now im not a fan of the blame game because it doesnt change circumstances, but you tell me who fault was all of this happening??? The sad part is that u unlike NY, i have to find a car to do the road test in, and her car is the only one convenient for me. And it seems as if anytime I ask for a favor to be done for me without anyone's gain, it hardly or never gets done. So I come to the conclusion, depend on no one because when you do you will truly be fucked in the end. You want to know what else? Know that I am in a very compromising situation right now because for me to tell my cousin how i feel would be for me to get kicked out of the house with no where to live...isnt that sensational ?? lol this def isnt the first time that something like this has happened to me but I will be next to last. So Im just going to decide to humble myself and not say anything and keep my inner peace, though it is burning with anger and frustration right now. ..Im starting to think that my presence here is a bother and this is def. a place I cannot call home, but once again, Im always the one to extend my hand to anyone whenever they need it. i never put anyone on the backburner, but that must a family trait that passed me. In my family, it goes i come first and you come next, and I guess painting the house was waayyyy more important than anything I had to do so ill take it. Lol amazes me...when will this nightmare end ???



This is A.E......signing off

October Bus Breeze....

And so…The first day of October has officially shown it’s gloomy face..

Wow, to think just yesterday I was complaining about the hot days of summer, and already it’s gone….all of the crisp white tess….the body showing wife beaters…and white shoes are to be locked away and saved for another day (well…forget that I wanna wear my white shoes I don’t care what no fashion tells me lol). Still all in all, the month of September has been a journey for me that I will never forget as long as I breathe on this earth. Lol, I told myself at the first of this month that if things doesn’t work out with me, I would be gone around this time…and as you would know it the last full week of September I saw some light..that goes to show never give up because sure enough I was ready to pack my shit..and get up on out of here lol, Im glad I stayed though and more importantly Im glad my summer taught me patience and perseverance because I defiantly needed it to proceed on in this tough life of living. Ahh next obstacle…I need to get a damn car! I didn’t realize how much us native New Yorkers are spoiled up until I moved out here, and I realize that you cannot do a got damn thing unless you have your own set of wheels. I told myself “well they have public transportation, so ill be alright” …

..Yeah right, BULLSHIT

Today I was actually relying in public transportation because I was actually choreographing some moves with my boy for kicks, and because I didn’t know the schedule, I just missed the bus coming all the way back to this county, and later on en route I found out that the route closest to my cousins crib was done for the night, so I had to wait for a alternative route, which guys I had no damn idea where that was gonna land me. So much for reliable transportation huh, thank God my cousin came and picked me up because Im telling you I wouldve been assed out in the dark…hoping not to be shot or harassed my animals, rednecks, or ..spiders(omg ewwwww)…So yeah that notion for my car being a luxury, nah hommie, that’s a damn necessity, And on top of that, I see that the bus drivers arent as strict about being on time as they are in NY because while we was one of the two transfer points…The bus just stopped and the driver got off the bus and proceeded to have a conversation with someone off the bus…Wtf??Ny he wouldve got shot on some serious shit …AND omg! I was sitting next to this lady who was apparently engaged in a conflict on the phone, as she the person on the phone and the whole bus that she wasn’t afraid of being locked up again…Whoa…..OMG save me, I cant be involved..Wait its one more!! The lady that was sitting next to me I can tell wasn’t aware that Deodorant was on sale at your local Walmart because she had none on…in a state that is know for its humidity….heaven help me. I was nauseous, irritated and over the CCT bus line at that moment…Damn you never miss something until it is gone and I def. missed the got damn MTA at that point. I miss the people who just pass you by and not try to get up in your business(No I don’t want to talk to you and no I dont wanna know how your day was, what you eat last night, and why you think gas should go down, I want you to shut up looks str8 ahead and leave me the hell alone!) ….I miss the RAPID transit that doesn’t run every quarter of and hour and I miss people on a mission and workers on a mission to get home, not the ones who take their time (Do you know the got damn bus driver almost missed me because he was soo bust looking at the gas station across the street from where im staying) ugh..I cant figure it out…I just cant…Maybe someone out there can figure out this shit..

This is A.E. signing off once and again saying everyone have a happy October!!

The Labeling Theory...

Wassup guys.....A.E. back sooo soon with yet another thought

I must apologize to those all across the world...with everything going on getting my life together and trying to find myself within this wonderful city, I truly forgot the reason why I started this blogger in the first place. And then after of course watching the movie that gave me inspiration, I just couldn't wait to get back to you folks and finally get the party started so that you can know the true side of the Anonymous Entertainer (aka A.E.). So now that im starting to get it, let the games begin

Have you ever wondered how your life would be without labels? Just think about it for one second.....Relationships, Friendships, Work, Religion, everything....imagine one day you can just be free to do what you choose to do without the effects of your label proceeding you. Imagine just one time you could just tell one of your friends that they are assholes for doing a senseless act, without getting judged as being mean or insensitive because thats your "friend". Imagine kicking your brother, sister, or even cousin out of your house after they ruined your car, had sex in places YOU didnt even consider, or just pissed you off with one of their bad habits, and no one will call you "grimey", or more horrid things just because you do in fact share a bloodline...Imagine for once you can just let your boss have it for saying the wrong things to you without the chance of being fired because he or she is your "boss"......More importantly...imagine just kicking it with your boo, hanging out, spending time together, great sex, joking around, fooling around, taking vacations...you know the whole pearly gates, without having the label as "wife" "lover" "boy/girlfriend", or "husband"....will you at that moment be truly happy? You know it's funny how labels run our lives in today's society down from the homeless man or "bumb" you see in the streets late at night...up into the "President" of the U.S. who we see as a man who could never make a mistake because of the title he obtains. I never really realized the importance of labels, but after watching the movie Sex and the City, I think character Carrie Bradshaw made an important point on how labels can both help, and harm, our own personal lives......it shapes how we view certain people, how we react to certain things, and adjusts or lives to rules and restricts our freedom. For example picture this: You meet someone, and at first things are going real good for you. You have casual conversations, hang out on the regular, get in on in the sheets, you laugh, you cry, and just love to be around this person. No one else can make you happy. One day, someone asks you "Is that your boo???" ...Well is it? Have you made it "official"? Do you feel you need 2...And then suddenly you get nervous because you never discussed your "status"with them and soon as you get home, you call them up and ask them.."Are we official?"...Now take a look at yourself...you have a very good connection with this person, and you know that you don't want anyone, and he/she tells you consistently that your the only one for them..Isnt that enough? Or do you need more?

Think about it for one second.

It is then sometimes where we put the label on something that we attempt to fix something that honestly wasnt broken....Cause now with the label of "lover", "spouse", "fuck buddy" we restricts our relationships with codes of ethics and principles that can honestly make our relationships alot worse. So now because you got got these labels, you feel as if its a JOB now to spend more time with them, call them, hang out, have more sex, etc.. and the love becomes slightly tainted because it feels like u MUST do it rather than you CHOOSING to do it which both you and I will lead to the up most disaster. Big difference huh. When I first saw the movie, I was mad at BIG because I didnt understand the choices that he made when turning Carrie down on her wedding day, but now that I seen it a second time, I understand everything he says..including the scene when Carrie asked him if he wanted to still get married, and he said simply "I want you" ...Relying so heavily on labels can be a curse, for it can make your relationship feel more like your job rather than your choice ....After all, you and the person you are dealing know deep down inside what it really is, should it matter to the world??



This is A.E. singing off..

Chiiii--Channngg!!!!!

Wassup Guys A.E. here back again with some great news and more info...

Let the windows of opportunity finally open up...I got a job.

Yeah its true, I officially was hired at JCrew at this outside mall not to far from me. When I heard this information..I immediately jumped out of my skin and I ran for joy...I was o so happy man. Damn, even as i type this memo Im still excited. God is wonderful, but this right here shows how merciful he is and Im glad that I prayed and prayed and stuck it thru...So now your boy is officially employed step 1 to the book in my life. I immediately told my close friends and family, and everyone is excited. Now I gotta do what i gotta do for my own independence. This right here goes to show that no matter what your going thru, change is coming and never give up. I just wonder if what my grandmother says is true, I wonder if all the jobs that I had applied for will start calling me like bill colectors offering me a position. Hmmm, I dunno but at least i have something now. ...Mr. Independent is back in full effect!!!!

Now that that factor of my life has seen a little green light....its time to get into another issue that I am dealing with that maybe you can help me out with.....Its just certain things I dont understand or certain actions that I do that confuse me. Why when I know something is wrong for me, I ignore the signs and keep doing it which thus affects the way i feel about myself. Ok...remember when gave you a whole synopsis on the internet love thing??? Well, I havent yet escaped that web and i think that this factor has contributed to my loneliness for the most part. Its like lately I find myself hitting people up a little more that I want to, and giving in to thier bullshit. Damn! Maybe is it because im just looking to meet new friends....or possibly is it really because I wanna find love on there?? Ugh see if I was home I wouldnt be caring about shit like this....And it honestly gives me a headache. I told myself when I get here, it will be straight about me and only me...No man will occupy my thoughts because I have things to do. And now look what the hell is going on..This is 3rd blog im writing about that focuses on love and I dont like to feel this at all. I tell u one thing though, it sure provides me with alot helluva lot of thoughts to write poetically and lyrically. HELP ME OUT AMERICA!!!!! I need your thoughts


This is A.E. signing off....With money and love on my mind.

Like a Ship lost to Sea

Wassup guys...A.E. here with yet another thought....

I bet your wondering why I decided to write this note in another color right...Well Ill tell you. The color red is my favorite color, but when I first brought this page up to post another blog..i thought I shud write in the mood I am feeling, and usually whenever you see blue, well...u think someone is blue and that I am. Why? because I can finally admit it( and it is really had for me to admit ladies and gents so give me a sec.)..Im lonely. Tonight is the night I officially miss having someone to call my own. In my previous blogs, I spoke of loneliness in the event of the friends and associates that I left back home in NY, but i have a confession...I have also felt a type of loneliness that desires to have someone to call my own. And today as I was in the mall coming from another interview,I saw a man and woman who was together laughing and giggling the lovers giggle, and i was type jealous...Wait..Im lying...It was last night when I was watching making the band, and when i had seen what Que has done for Dawn..i became soo jealous I was actually hating on them ..(Me....hate...omg..) and then when he sang to her...Damn man I almost cried (not in the literal sense...come on guys : /). I remember not so long ago when someone had did the same thing for me that he has done, and I remember the emotions I felt...Damn..I guess when you dont get things like that, it times like these where you start to miss it, and then you start to miss the person who gave it to you. Yup, i remember being in love and that feeling was a wonderful feeling. So now..I sit here...with a frustrated and lonely heart..just thinking damn...when can I find that type of feeling again....Now its beginning to make sense to me, the reason why i stay on those Not Good For You websites, the reason why I write love songs, hell the reason why i must hear a love song before I go to sleep...its because I miss it now more than anything. It sure would be good to do a lovers giggle every now and then with someone im dating, Or hell I wudnt even mind being held right now as i write this post...But i guess god things come to those that wait...just like a JOB and my Career my love life will come in all the same..Damn why out of all people, God chooses me to be the most patient one lol? I dunno....Maybe this will make sense when i make him...Till then as my favortie song in this planet sings..Im Caught Up in one night Love Affair...hoping that love sent from God will find me somewhere in the disaster.



(Sighs) This is A.E. Signing off

Hear no Evil..Speak No Evil...See no Evil

Hey wassup guys A.E. is here with part 2 ..

Yes there is a part 2 to the madness lol...Before i continue on, let me first start off with a quote from my wonderful grandmomma, my Nana. See, Nana always told me " Evil is the most dangerous thing that we have here on this earth. It will always lure around you and take you happiest moments, it will sneak in your friends, your circle, your home, your job, you life and try to make YOU feel like your the worse person in earth, make your worth similar to that of a breadcrumb. So watch out cause everywhere you go and everything you do, His satanic eyes are watching you." Well, I really didnt get what she ment by all of that as a child, but now I see it. The more and more i get closer to God and the more and more I look around Im starting to notice evil eyes. im starting to see Satan himself thru people that I either called a friend or a mere associate. And then I see God. I see him always around me protecting me from that evil eye, and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Today was a lovely day for me, I saw some of the infamous crews of ABDC perform, and the aura i got from the audience was magnificent, it just showed me what I am living for and my dreams in the long run. Though i was around new people, and i must admit it was a lil uncomfortable at first because I am a shy person, eventually I loosened up and I had a wonderful time. I really enjoyed myself world, and of course it was after when finished eating dinner I had a got a text from an mere associate asking to speak to me. When i decided to give this person the light of day, he actually had some important information about this job hookup for me and how it went thru and all, but i knew he wasnt done . I knew the reason he called me was not about the job, and sure nuff it wasnt. His second reason was of course to talk to me about the argument that me and the "friend" had that i mentioned to you a couple of days ago. After first telling me how i am this and that and i need to do this and that (lol mind u i usually interrupt but i just let him talk because this dude knows nothing about me ), when i went to say simply how i felt about the situation and thus tell him that is is between me and my friend so we will deal with it, my man not only kept interrupting me and throwing insult after insult, but he also switched up the whole entire thing so now it is about me and him, he told me some things that I know about myself and guess what world...he kept throwing the "job" hookup in my face threatening to call his boy and tell him to forget the hookup and let me do it on my own. The first time i tried to stray away from it, the second time I didnt say anything because that is when i noticed that he was obviously using that to exercise his power, and when I told i had something else to do so HOLD ON for a second, he of course cut me off and told me i was gonna hang up so he said" So hang up Ralphie and Im gonna tell my friend to forget about the hookup..and he hung up on me!! Lol WOW What did I do but tell him simply i didnt want to talk about me and my friends situation with him becuase in all honesty...it has nothing to do with him?? lol and then you throw your job hookup at me and threaten to take it away because I choose not to talk to u about something that has nothing to do with you? Lol so i guess my connection at Best Buy is gone, but you know what, if it is between me signing a deal with the devil himself to control me and struggling a tad bit more to get something I worked hard to get then guess what...I will do what it do. I swear world, sometimes this feels like another reality im living right now...like everything is in a wrap But i will not focus on that negative part of my night, you know why? because i had a really good time today in my zone enjoying a talent that makes me smile on the inside. Tonight i am proud of myself because I choose to get out and meet other folks and not stay in the house and be depressed and stress my world away. Today i choose to LIVE and thats what I really plan to do,I wanna live again dammit. You can take that away from me, and there will be light at the end of tunnel i think im already starting to see it. Take that EVIL!!!



This is A.E. signing off....and with a confident snap

Call Me Your "Friend"

Wassup guys....Ur boy A.E. is back at it

Lol life can be soo amazing sometimes...one minute you just know where your going...Your at the point where you are doing things that you want to do, you are around people that you can trust and love, and you really have no big worries..then you go down a roller coaster and shit just goes downhill. You are doing absolutely nothing .....you dont know which way is up and you start to notice people around around you start to change...And when you are at the lowest point, o shit well you can call that a test for your friends because those who turn out to be not be what you expected stick out like a sore thumb or a hooker and a church convention...and well it has happened to me today. Today i found out that life goes on without you, and those you depend on will leave ur behind quicker than a deadbeat dad. And as of today, I officially, like finding a job, have to find another roommate. You see world, Plan A was supposed to be me and a my homeboy comming here at the end of August, look for a place, and find jobs so we can both support eachother in the process. What has happend is that the homeboy decides to speed things up on his terms, moves down here a month earlier and basically looks out for himself. Now when I get here im going thru it by myself, which is cool i dont mind it. But, now that I am going thru this apparently my "homeboy" feels(being that he just got himself a full time gig, and his "new life") that i am not compatible to do anything and it would be best for him to move with his already roommate and do him while I do me and if we meet up in the process then we'll meet up then ...so be it. Now, I am a supporter of you looking out for yourself, but, to when I told him my concerns he made some hurtful comments that basically kicked my already body down further and this one in particular stood out..

"IM GLAD THAT I MOVED HERE A MONTH EARLIER CAUSE IF I DIDNT I'D BE STRUGGLING LIKE YOU. I DONT WANNA STRUGGLE LIKE YOU SO I'M GLAD I MOVED HERE EARLIER IM NOT GOING THRU WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU"


WHOA!!! so what do u say to that?? Simple. There is nothing to say i mean hes right i am struggling ..but damn do u really have to throw that in my face?????Lol, you would think it couldnt get worse than that..O well it did..minutes later when i called back to express my anger and hurfulness for what he said, a statement was said from me that was "Well i am struggling yes, but even when i was struggling before i still supported u and paid for trips bec-" and i was immediately cutt off by

"WAIT THATS THE FRIEND YOU ARE YOU ARE THE TYPE OF FRIEND TO THROW SHIT IN MY FACE WELL U KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU . GET THE FUCK OFF MY FONE GET THE FUCK OF MY FONE..."

CLICK.
So is that it?? Whoa i didnt even get a chance to explain my statement because I am not that type of person. I didnt get a chance to defend my honor cause I am not a shady person but he hangs up on me AFTER hurting my feelings the way he did. Damn lol didnt I say when it rain it pours..Well right now i feel as if i lost a friend and I know I def lost my roommate so it adds a little more pressure but you know what ...when I get my money right...when I get myself together..i guarantee you world that i will not depend on ANYONE for ANYTHING..and I do mean that will all of my heart and soul. until then Im fight even harder and even tougher..cause i know this is evil tryin to bring me down but I simply wont let it ..Nope..
ON A GOOD NOTE ....As I was walking from the trash today with this heavily on my mind, i walked passed this guy (presumably a teenager i dunno) but he was singing and WOW his voice strangly calmed my spirits down a little bit. I dunno it felt like a gift or a sign from God but i just passed him and I had to literally turn my neck to see his face...but i couldnt see it though...That voice was so....peaceful. I wish I sounded like that lol. Maybe ill c him again and when i do ima compliment that voice. I tell u one thing though, if a man was to sing to me like that well...shit...I think I'd be in love




This is A.E. signing off....Damn can I have a friend ??

The American Dream...

Wassup guys Im back with another thought...

And so...it has officially been three weeks since I did my great big move and still I have no job, im running out of money, and I can relate to anybody right now when they say they are STRUGGLING. This really sucks, I guess the economy is that bad, and what sucks is that I literally feel the deflation. Time after time, day after day, application after application, and resume after resume, i have been on my ass trying to find a job. And day after day, i have doors slammed in my face by people who would appraise me if I still lived in NY..but this isn't NY and it is soo hard to make it more and more day by day. You see....I guess i was a firm believer of the American Dream, you know the part where they say you go to high school, you then graduate and go to college where you can obtain a degree and get TO get a good paying job so you eventually own a home, property, and have a good life.
Bullshit.
I am now a 22 year old college graduate with a Bachelors in Sociology, with no experience because none of my advisors told me an internship was necessary to make it, and now this is why i am going thru what I am going thru. I realize at this point of time, my life sucks. I cant even get a retail job because of this failed economy, and with all of this said it looks soo much good right now that sweet deal that they offer you in NY...because there someone will always want fashionable advice...there someone will always hav a childrens center thats looking for staff....there will always somone wanting to dance or a undercover artists looking for someone to dance..There i wouldnt need a roomate like i do now...there the grass would be truly greener HOWEVER..I dont wanna get robed again like I did..i dont wanna be on high defense everytime I walk home..i dont wanna pay for overpriced apts and cost of living...and more importantly, I dont wanna be in a place where I been all my life ...So what's a guy to do..Does he just swallow his life dreams and go back to what he knows...or does he take the road less traveled and stick it out because he knows deep down there will be light at the end of the tunnel....or so he hopes???????My present situation is really bothering, and yesterday it got me to my weakest point...and as I was walking from yet another rejected opportunity..I broke down in the streets of Atlanta..Yup I did I cried and cried and fucking cried because I never knew it could be this hard. I wasnt prepared for this type of lifestyle..I thought this was the only shit I would c in movies...well i was wrong. And when it rains...it truly pours because today as I was with my cousin learning how to drive..i done mess around and ran into a pole which caused about 4,000$ in damage to her car...So you can forget the icing on the cake that was the fuel to the fire held on my ass.....Got damn it likes I cant get a brake. So im really feeling like Danity Kane song Is anybody listening ???Cause right now i ned a helping hand in each and every way. Pray for me


this is a sad A.E.....signing off

Internet Dating 101 For The Men Who Get Down....

Wassup guys...A.E. back with another thought

...........Ok so last time i left off, i was talking about LOVE and how this four letter word has impacted my life well Im about to digg a little deeper into that wound and expose my weakness; Internet Dating. Ok..so you see match.com, lavalife, and them other things and you think to yourself..."Damn...has my life really come to this???" because you feel like your on a crutch now in the dating game because you do not have the balls to approach someone and let them know that you are interested...right??WRONG!! Its a little different in the gay community esp for black folks. See....because of the conception of the brother on the "D.L." and the whole misconception of the "6th sense" ...approaching men can be quite dangerous and embarrassing because simply because there are soo many different personalities of a gay man..So what we do is give a little eye contact...followed by a little smile and....just continue to walk. NOWADAYS i must admit certain people will just be bold and approach you with a silly topic question JUST to start conversation that will lead up to..."can i get ur number??" Well...for most of us guys..esp those living on the low we tend to Log on the cyber world to seek for a mate.whether sexual....longtime...or just to vibe with someone who has forgone your struggles and understands where you are coming from...This alternative serves like a human supermarket to us..as it allows us to pick and choose who we talk to, who we have sex with, and who we vibe with..as it also allows us to grab an easy sexual snack if needed be, which is why this is also very dangerous because let's be real America...anyone can tell us ANYTHING over the internet...so the guy who says hes built...has a good job..good place and is HIV negative can really be Pee Wee Herman ....Jobless..and lives with his moms..Lets not forget the fact that he is HIV + and though some of us MAY consider using a condom with him (which is a story within itself..i mean come on man its killing us all)...The fact is that ur still putting urself at a lil risk and you dont even know it because this guy is a coward who wont tell u the truth(chances are he may not even know himself)..So Internet dating can be much more of a headache than a pleasure ....Also....alot of times the website provided for us (Adam4Adam, BGC, Men4now, etc..) are sexed based so it's hard to find someone without those intentions, and most of the men that logs onto it is just BORED and wants to pass time (I know..I fall into that category from time to time)....

So with this in mind...i told myself that I would never fall into this nightmare and do the internet thing thing again...but you know when you never say your gonna do something...chances are you just wind up doing it (wtf??)....Now im sitting here eating cake realizing that i resent myself more and more for continuing this crapola...but yet i cant seem to break free of this web..What could it be? Is it because i am lonely and i feel the need to be entertained by some of these "superheros" or could it be because deep down I feel like for me there is no other way for me to find love. I mean I am not an ugly guy this i know, but I guess my strong personality scares some people from approaching me and i know that..so the only way Im not judged in up on on them sites......Wait..I think i know what it is...I think its because I believe that one day i will meet him...just like that...out of no where and he will what i was looking for but he wud find me..when i least expect it ...I dunno me and my crazy theories man.....I tell u one thing I learned though..No matter where these men are, whether the internet, in person, NY, or ATL...Black gay men are some of the most shallow men that will ever walk the face of this earth lol ....


This is A.E. signing off....
.

LOVE..LIKE A DAMN PILL

Hello and once again im back
...........Look, i done got caught up with all of my other issues that i forgot to talk about the number 1 issue im facing in my world right now...that 4 letter trouble making word called L.O.V.E.. hmmmm..I know i was a little brief in that section when i first introduced myself but trust me when i say that there is alot more that meets that eye n my life. Love has always been the number one challenge in my life since i first said "Im gay" lol. I mean i dont been thru it all: the confident ones, the local heartbreakers, the "Im so damn bitter so ima make u pay for everyones mistakes", the " I dont know what I want" one's, the " Let me g your head up and make u feel like your the best in the world and when i feel you fallin for me ill just drop you cause it was a joke" one's ..the "i have a wife and kids", o! and my favorite type to hate; " I dont know what i want" type (dont u just love those?) Well ....unfortunate for me in this type of game i have fallen for each of these types because i wore my heart on my sleeves..but these hard lessons have taught me to have a tough heart and even tougher skin..so lately i've been on the "rain check" list for looking for love in Gay America. I mean...as a culture we go thru soo much already being hated by many different types of strangers, family memebers, and friends so when it comes time to actually find romantic interest we have to first defragmentize all of the guilt, sorrow, reject, and fear that these ignorant people has bestowed upon us. And I can say because of my own family, intelligence, and friends i have been blessed enough to accept myself and basically throw all of these items out of the window. But i cant speak for the rest of them so u can understand why finding love is like finding a virgin in a brothel house lol. Dont get me wrong, Ive had some successful relationships in my past...but what starts off as "Baby i love you " in the too soon beginning becomes "Get the fuck away from me i hate you" in the not to distant ending...which is how my pervious relationship has ended. So entering ATL i was already informed with the "stay away" from the boyz up there and....it wasnt even a week of me being here that i noticed what they were talking about...I already got a dick who tried to play that GAME and got immediately CUT and whats sad is that he is from NY...wat a mess someone please escort him out the king's palace for attempting that bull?? And just like that...my respect for the ATL men....along with my respect for the NYC dudes..had been lost...

GOT DAMN! Can i just find someone who takes thier time n geting to know someone? Can i just roll with someone who will be able to be my support for when I need it (Like ohh...lets say....RIGHT NOW!!!) ...Or how about someone that can just make me laugh..it's not that hard i mean shit i laugh at anything...but like the old saying goes "You gotta let love find you" ..FUCK that...Im playing Carmen Sandiego right now...Where n the world is me ??




This is A.E. signing off.....

A Dream Revisted?? Or Deferred??...

Wassup guys ...
So...I just got off the phone with someone i just met that lives out here, and you know as we were talking, i told him a little on my reasons from moving to NY to ATL ..which of course includes..Entertaining and he immediately goes 'Well why did u move here isnt the place for that kind of stuff in NY..the most jobs youll get out here is a REUNION for 112 or backup for JANET.." and I dont know why..but it really got to me for one quick second. So now im sitting here asking myself "Did i really make a mistake in moving here?? shud i have stayed in NY?? I mean look at whats going on right now...I still dont have a job, no source of income whatsoever, my savings are getting low, I have no place to call my own place, and though i took a class and had fun i mean lets be real...u really dont hear people commin here to dance or Entertain for that matter, esp if they lived n NY. they either come here for "better living" or "the o SOOOOOOOOO overrated Gay lifestyle", some even come "looking for love"..so did i really make a mistake??? To answer this question, i have to first go back to when i decided to move out here.....back into my thoughts when i was making this BIG decision. I swear people, i thought i was bugging because my cousin had suggested first for me to move down here and i immediately turned the offer down saying that NY was the best place for me and i could never move away from it to a slower , lifestlye. Then ...its like i kept hearing these voices (NO I AM NOOTT CRAZY PEOPLE CALL IT SIGNS)...telling me that maybe that move wouldnt be so bad...I mean look at the videos..look at the commercial artists now where are they comming from ...U guessed it right, the south. Who originated snapping fingers, how about the Radio killer...how about Ciara, C. Brown. Janet...where do they get their dancers from...and then i thought more and more into it...N just think: Would you rather move to a place that is growing into a prosperity or live in a place where u tried and tired but it getrs harder and harder because your in a zone where everyone all over the world comes to make it in? Then i talked it over with my BFF;s and they all told me to do it...esp being that all of them are in the ent game they told me it just fits me more...And so I made that decision to think outside the box and I came here...I know i may not be the most religious man in the world,(man sometimes i preach against what is preached ) But i have a relationship with God, and I cant explain it, but it was like he was telling me to follow the path that leads me out here....and when i think about giving up...I swear i hear someone telling me n my head not to give up...telling me to stay strong...telling me that ima be alright and my dreams will come true...But in reality im no where right now but on my cousins couch...scared, frustrated, broke, lonely, and confused because Im not sure if this bold move was a logical one..SO guys..is my dream really revisted...or is it deferrred...What happens when no one else can see the vision that you see??

This is A.E. signing off

And so the begining .....

Ok..ok...ok...now that you have been formally introduced to me...let me tell u a lil about my life..my name is A.E. originally from Brooklyn NY, and i have been an Entertainer since Michael Jackson was last seen with dark skin.Seee that was such a long time ago...anyway since i can remember..I have always had a passion for acting....singing....dancing....and welll hey, anything that i can show out my talents Went to JHS for is but kinda fell off when i started HS because well.....none of the Talent schools wanted me at the given time so fuck them...got to it on my own and did it as a side hustle..So from doing talent shows from here to there...I eventually learned how to dance a groove we like to call HIP HOP and since then i havent been able to stop...Now also in becoming of my high school ages...I began to realize something was extra special about me when i was n the boys locker room and would secretly wait for the boys to take off their shorts to reveal something that put a smile to my face...yes n case u havent figured it...I am an African American Gay male ...But anyway back to basics.....
After HS and onto college...I decided that Entertainment was the way i wanted to go! I became more and more sufficient in my dancing...and eventually I became a CHOREOGRAPHER...took some vocal classes ....and even practiced my acting in a mirror (who does that???). 4 1/2 years and a whole lot of school stress, broken hearts, an Entourage, and a million backstabs later, I finally graduated College with my B.A. n Sociology and accomplished one of my goals....But the other one was still into play. Been thru too many dance crews, dance functions, and auditions....and finally it hit me after i graduated..NYC competition is BANANAZ and in order to do what i have to do i gotta either 1. Screw sum1 n high places or 2. Move elsewhere and try to make it happen...So by looking at the name of this story u can tell what i did.. GOODBYE.. and hello..!!! People say that I did a bold move...and to be quite honest I really did. Im doing this for the people who said that wanted to be somebody but never could get off the couch to do so. Im doing this for the people who always asked that question: What if? but never really had the confidence to to do so. And more importantly im doing this for myself, to prove my theory to be true...that dreams come true...!! Fortunately for me so far this dreams has been a struggle..because im slowly running low on funds...the job market sucks right now so im still without 1...and overall though i am with family and a lil of friends out here...i feel sooo alone...But because of my previous relationships.... I rather be alone and focus on my primary goal than to be with sum1 and get caught up..heart broken and my eyes will slowly leave the prize...So what is the first lesson that i learned living out here for 2 weeks....ATL is NOT what i thought it wud b...Stayed Tuned and watch im telling u itll be a really reallly bumpy ride...


This is A.E. signing offf 9/5/08

Welcome

Hell....and welcome to my blogspot....this is where I will play most of my thoughts...Share some of my views, growth, opinions, beliefs, concerns, and voyages as I share my life n transition from the lovable NYC to the Deep Down South, formally named Atlanta, GA. :) So sick back grab a snack and pull your bumpers up because it'll be a fantastic ride...Ok Roll dem out..