Wassup guys...A.E. back with another thought
...........Ok so last time i left off, i was talking about LOVE and how this four letter word has impacted my life well Im about to digg a little deeper into that wound and expose my weakness; Internet Dating. Ok..so you see match.com, lavalife, and them other things and you think to yourself..."Damn...has my life really come to this???" because you feel like your on a crutch now in the dating game because you do not have the balls to approach someone and let them know that you are interested...right??WRONG!! Its a little different in the gay community esp for black folks. See....because of the conception of the brother on the "D.L." and the whole misconception of the "6th sense" ...approaching men can be quite dangerous and embarrassing because simply because there are soo many different personalities of a gay man..So what we do is give a little eye contact...followed by a little smile and....just continue to walk. NOWADAYS i must admit certain people will just be bold and approach you with a silly topic question JUST to start conversation that will lead up to..."can i get ur number??" Well...for most of us guys..esp those living on the low we tend to Log on the cyber world to seek for a mate.whether sexual....longtime...or just to vibe with someone who has forgone your struggles and understands where you are coming from...This alternative serves like a human supermarket to us..as it allows us to pick and choose who we talk to, who we have sex with, and who we vibe with..as it also allows us to grab an easy sexual snack if needed be, which is why this is also very dangerous because let's be real America...anyone can tell us ANYTHING over the internet...so the guy who says hes built...has a good job..good place and is HIV negative can really be Pee Wee Herman ....Jobless..and lives with his moms..Lets not forget the fact that he is HIV + and though some of us MAY consider using a condom with him (which is a story within itself..i mean come on man its killing us all)...The fact is that ur still putting urself at a lil risk and you dont even know it because this guy is a coward who wont tell u the truth(chances are he may not even know himself)..So Internet dating can be much more of a headache than a pleasure ....Also....alot of times the website provided for us (Adam4Adam, BGC, Men4now, etc..) are sexed based so it's hard to find someone without those intentions, and most of the men that logs onto it is just BORED and wants to pass time (I know..I fall into that category from time to time)....
So with this in mind...i told myself that I would never fall into this nightmare and do the internet thing thing again...but you know when you never say your gonna do something...chances are you just wind up doing it (wtf??)....Now im sitting here eating cake realizing that i resent myself more and more for continuing this crapola...but yet i cant seem to break free of this web..What could it be? Is it because i am lonely and i feel the need to be entertained by some of these "superheros" or could it be because deep down I feel like for me there is no other way for me to find love. I mean I am not an ugly guy this i know, but I guess my strong personality scares some people from approaching me and i know that..so the only way Im not judged in up on on them sites......Wait..I think i know what it is...I think its because I believe that one day i will meet him...just like that...out of no where and he will what i was looking for but he wud find me..when i least expect it ...I dunno me and my crazy theories man.....I tell u one thing I learned though..No matter where these men are, whether the internet, in person, NY, or ATL...Black gay men are some of the most shallow men that will ever walk the face of this earth lol ....
This is A.E. signing off....
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1 comment:
You said a lot in your blog which covered several areas of the gay dating scene. I don't know if you remember the site called x-clusivity but it was a gay site which focused on keeping the sex searching OFF its site and promoted a young black gay community,Unfortunately anything that's positive doesn't seem to last as the site is now down due to threats to the owner. Some people just don't like to see good things happen.
Nonetheless it seems like everyone is looking for love or say they do, yet most don't know what they really want. You're right when you said shallow because we just need to be real. If the intent is sex, then that should be stated before hand. You cant go looking for love from a ho, or try to turn a hoe into dating material.
It is hard trying to find someone legit, old or young, but it is possible, I know of a few examples that have been together for a while.
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