Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fear of Success

So its me Im back again,

Today I visited my friend in the hospital. She just recovered from having a very serious surgery and was feeling down so you know the Entertainer had to Entertain lol. I shouldve been there sooner, but you know my financial situation isnt getting any better so regretfully I had to wait until my Sponsors sponsored me. Im glad I seen her though, I think I gave her a little encouragement for her to get back up again. That felt good :) But have you ever lectured someone else and like deep down inside your head you felt like you was trying to convince yourself? Yeah ....that happened to me this evening when I was chatting with her. I was telling her about not giving up and this surgery and her temporary stay in this city was probably a blessing in disguise and even though she feels ill tonight..she will get back up and do what she was ment to do on this Earth and WHEN she makes it ..she will tell people her story and she will inspire those going thru what she is going thru ...I mean isnt that what life is all about ? Inspire those in the next generation to do what you do or possibly just take what you did to the next level??
But while I was talking to her...I was really talking to myself...I mean you know the life of an Entertainer is never easy and like my last entry said...sometimes giving up just really feels like the only thing you can do...but it is the strong ones who do survive...If you look into the beginner stages of some of these Celebrities, you will hear stories of Homelessness, Hopelessness, Struggle, MANY doors being shut in the face, many NOS and YOU CANT...before that ONE MOMENT happens where its a YES and then BOOM your whole life changes. Is it safe for each and everyone of us to believe that if can happen to us? Is it safe to believe that one moment can really change our life ? If so, why are we so scared to believe it? The option of failure sometimes is easier to just rest on because we have been loosing so much in our lives...some with our illness ..some with auditions and talent breaks...some with love...some with just life situations period...so why expect anything different to happen...whats SOO special about you that Success can happen? We work hard to make livings and sometimes manual labor is NOT the only things we work hard with ..sometimes its battling a illness...sometimes it trying not to have a black heart after being hurt and emotionally drained by the people you love so much...sometimes its battling the urge to loose hope in your talent and battle the feelings or doubts or fears...and like working under a tire or a hot stove or a 9-5 the stress and frustrations are equal. So why is it so hard for some of us to believe that the Fruits of our labor are waiting?? Think about it .....When we wake up in the morning...we perform our rituals to do what we have to do ...BUT....if you was really tired of dealing with or going thru what your going thru..why in the same morning do you get up?? Why dont you just stay in bed? Ill tell you why ....because you DO believe that IT CAN happen ...Somewhere deep down inside of you you believe one day you wouldnt have to work so hard ...or one day you may just get that DEAL ...the RIGHT person may see your talent ...Your Illness may go into remission and you can be FREE from it...Hell you may just hit the lottery lol
Sometimes I wish (even myself) that we can honestly believe in full that Success is just as prominent as Death. Walking by faith is NO easy task, but I mean...if you dont ..what do you honestly have to live for???


This is A.E. signing off

1 comment:

Unknown said...

"Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."

That is the last stanza of one of my favorite poems. From the first note, monologue, footstep, beat or brush stroke, as artists we know the journey is a long and tedious one. But the less traveled road we chose, is well worth the strife we go through. Our struggle inspires our art in ways nothing else can, and we come out better than were were before. Keep your mind focused, heart full and spirit focus on God's will. He's just started, and the best is yet to come.