The Shades of Grey

Wassup Guys....Im back

Ok...so last night I was over rehearsing with one of my best friends out here in the A...and we ere both just swapping stories about whats going on in the personal life..and an interesting topic was mentioned that i feel I must share with the world. The topic...SHADES OF GREY...now listen carefully and Im gonna explain what exactly what it is...You know me always providing scenarios and examples

..Now picture this: YOu meet someone, and things start off so well....You hang out occasionally with this person, you talk on the phone with them consistently morning noon and night, the vibe is right and the chemistry is there ...pretty soon as the days progress you realize that you like this person, and you dont wanna move to fast with them and like jump head first into a committed relationship., but at the same time you dont want to be with anyone else..this person has gotten your attention..so now your whole viewpoint is about to change...each day that goes by you wonder if this person is thinking about you as much as your thinking about them...the once freelance conversations you guys where having has shifted and now you start to poke at questions that would make them involuntarily tell u how they feel about you....you wonder if the person is dating someone else.....you just start to battle yourself and in order to protect your heart you put on this tough guy exterior and you fake at being nonchalant because you dont want to reveal how much you are starting to care for this person....well my friend this stage is called the SHADES OF GREY...any relationship that is worth having goes thru this. I personally think that its a test of your patience and wisdom..See us as a society and most def in the gay world tend to rush things..Once we found the superhero we been asking for we tend to wanna lock them down so that no one else can claim them or have the potential to steal a prize that you put your time and effort in..Though this can be annoying to you because no one likes to be played for an idiot, I believe that it actually good for the developing relationship because you would want to take the time to know the person first before you decide to spend your life with them (if your into the long term thing like me)...You would wanna build that trust with them because in the shades of grey, technically the person that your gunning for at any time can either pick up and go, leave you for someone else, or fall right into your arms...so it is here where your faith is tested 100 percent....thats whats we call life and believe me when i tell Patience is really a virtue...so if any of you are going thru this shade, hold on and hold on 2 your faith...Dont fixate on the negative and celebrate the positive....and more importantly....Dont rely on the things that are not being said..rather focus on the things that are being shown..I think that speaks for itself. After all...certain things and emotions require NO WORDS. I think im learning that now..I feel like Morpheus..i just believe


This is A.E. aka DR LOVE....Saying to all a good night!

Please dont stop the dancing........

Wassup guys....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Sorry ive been so MIA once again, but by now if you dont get it, i just been so damn busy getting my life together and trying to figure my life out some more so that when i get on here i can come correct and tell u the shit that be really on my mind...like the shit that just tingles n my damn spirit and i just have to let loose...so excuse me for the abscense but I had to figure out what next...speaking of next i have another issue thats going on with this world..

Have you guys been noticing the evolution of dance in todays world?? Ok, if you havent Ima take you back into time a little bit so you can understand what im feeling....ok lets dig back into the 90's..You would turn on the tv and hit MTV to watch the hottest videos...and of course MJ and JJ was one of those artists who provided it for you...remember the dancing back in the videos...I mean damn, the steps werent that hard to catch but every single damn dancer in that video felt all of their steps...like they really put a whole lotta passion and stuff to their dancing...The videos were about themes and the choreography catered to the themes....the head knocks, the waps and BAMS, like you felt the lyrics come to life by the dancing that was portrayed...nowawdays its like wat the f***!!! I mean dancing has become more of a demand. Dancers are like TRIPPLED the amount that they used to be...and everyone is a choreographer doing the same type of steps for the same type of songs and its like omg a nightmare....

Today i turn on the tv, and looking at what dance has become disspoints me as an individual yo...Like yeah the dances be hot and all....but where did the feeeling behind it go...What happen to PERFORMING a step rather than just dancing to it and benig sharp and percise with ur steps..I thought this enlightment was only in my imagination..until recently I saw JJ's All for u tour and ....OMG WHAT THE HELL!!!! All the steps thats she does now have NO feeling behind them...yeah the dancers hit the beat and they dance well...but they have no FACE no PERFORMANCE behind the step what so ever...its like they just taking another dance class on stage ...that annoys me for real. I cant stand it. SO im bout to bring it back...bring it all back..usuing the modernized version of hip hop and street jazz today and infusing it with the sttitude that i looked up too growing as a child....I promise myself and GOD that I will try to bring it back because it death is something i know alot people right now is NOT looking forward too...You wanna know what I think happened...it became all about the integrity and the complex of the steps...and less about the character...SMH World when will we learn PERFORMANCE is everything...but ima bring it back tho. Watch me



This is A.E. saying wish me luck!!! lol



P.S.- I mean there is one person who still gives it ..shout out to BEYONCE and FRANK for really providing the attitude for the steps...and my theory must be sumwhat logical because when single ladies came out EVERYONE wanted to learn the dance..so why wasnt this evident when other Entertainers did dances in their routine...Shes hot for a reason and that type of dance she does has ALOT to do with it!!

In A Perfect World

Hey Guys...Im back with another thought....

AS the ending days of the year approach itself, I sit back and i just think...i think about all ive been thru and i think about the challenges that lie ahead in front of me, and I will take it on!!! No but seriously though, I am soo sorry ive been MIA for the last coupla of weeks but I have been on this spiritual journey that we all go thru at some point of time, and just try to figure out how not to think about what happens next with me and just live the day for what it is...and with 2009 rolling around...Heres what I know, what I learned, and hopefully it can help whoever is reading this particular blog...heres what i learned..

.........in a pefect world, one will never have to learn the har lessons that there is to learn in life. You would have the job you always dreamed off, the perfect friends who you see in the movie screens who would never comprimise your bonds, or stab you in the back because they know your worth and they would do nothing to let you down. You will have the perfect family, the ones who, if by any chance u slip and fall, will catch you withno hesitations....the ones who give you all the love your heart can ever want in life, the ideal shouler to cry on whenever you need it. YOu will meet the perfect person, the one that catches your eye when they pass you, and he will be the right one. The one you pray for every night and day, the one who you feel all your breakups led you too, the one who was ment to change your life. And you will live happily ever after..Because you have a perfect life..what more can you ask for??



............Well, I learned this world isnt perfect at all. And I do mean NOT perfect.....and every thing good or bad that happens to you happens for a reason....So what I do, I just sit back and pray..I pray that one day this economy will become better and I will get the job where I would make the difference in peoples lives and wake up enjoying every day, and as for right now..I think i actually do. I pray that I can have a family who really makes me feel like family rather than a relative, and you know what ..though they are not blood i do have a family that makes me feel like family rather than just a cousin or brother. ...And I just know that GOd will send me the man to blow my world away..one who listens to me, who provides that shelter for me...who saves this superhero..and you know...He did......And ill tell you, i just know hes the one for me...and though someone else is already in that place that i want to be in right now...i know...i feel....and for that...I pray...until then..the friendship is just amazing....I wont hate...i will love..and i just know one day soon...it will click....I pray. This I pray...and i learned prayer works..


You know it took me a long time to write this..because I didnt know what to say and how to say it but i think I just said it perfectly..haha

Merry Xmas and Happy NEw Year...2009


Sincerely

A.E.

the Coldest Winter

Hey guys..its A.E. again back with something on the brain...

.....its the last month of the year, and my o my time has passed me by! Damn, its like last week was Labor day weekend, when i first moved out here with all the hopes and ambition, and now im here in December feeling a lil frustrated, confused, and homesick. I must admit though, Atlanta is starting to grow on me just a lil bit...yup guys, im starting to adjust to this slow lifestlye. I dont know why Im scared to ease up and get comfortable, maybe it's because everytime i feel like i get comfortable, something goes wrong in my life (especially since lliving out here), so im always on my grind and always remaining busy ...SO that time can kind of pass by and I forget about all the negative emotions i feel about this place...so that I can surpress the empty feeling I have inside curently..but i do have good news...i return to my home at the end of the month..I return backt o NY for the New Year...u know its funny because when i was in NY i would count down the days when i would able to return out here and now that im out here....I am counting the days down till I return back home. .....To a place where I wont be as alone, where i can take dance classes with people who share the same passion as mines, to a place where i know Love will be waiting, and people arent phony or bull shitters....

I dont know world im just a lil jaded...I guess thats why they say be careful what you ask for because u just may get it ..I asked to be taken to a place where i can concentrate and here I am in a new place and all im concentrating on the shit that brings me down, things that I said I wouldnt even give time of day to when i was living back in NY...Guess the joke was on me...But effectivly I will be a changed man...Ima basically do me and try to enjoy the good things about this place...








this is A.E. signing off......tellling everyone to listen to BEyonces DELUXE album..esp the last song on disc 2

Annoying A Town

Wassup Guys ..it A.E. again ...Sorry I must admit I have been gone for a lil while, but with the new move, working 2 jobs now(yay!) , and still trying to adjust you can say that I was a little bit busy lol. Things besides that havent really changed for me. I ment to write you when i went on a date that Sunday after Obama got eleceted so that i can tell you how much pleasurable it was..until a week later the guy who I on a date with turned out to be somebody who wasnt work mentioning so i decided to cancel my boast and proceed on with my lfie because he isnt worth lol. ..then I ment to write you the following week when I met another person who just sounded so genuine and so unique...and guess what?? soon as i was about to write in about him...Found out some things that even JL King will frown his face upon if u catch my drift...lol. so what brings me here...Fustrations, anger, sorrow, lonliness, hoplessnessm happiness, exhaustion, everything .... One thing in particular happened to me today..I was in the barbershop getting my first AtL haircut, and these dudes inside of their was ignoranr central. They bad mouthed everyone, including women, white folks, and of course homsoexuals. I find it amazing where this ignorance comes from, because the main people in ther conversations tried to imply history not realizing that they are preaching folklore. They said that us gay men cant call anything discrimination because we "choose" to be this way. LOl it took an act of Congress for me to keep my mouth closed and not flip out in there and set the record straight. Luckily it was a lady with her son that was on my page and she kept saying to herself "i cant stand ignorance", and i just had to agree with her. Im allergic to it. Now I see why some of my associates arent to thrilled about having a black man for president. TO think that the weeks preceeding and the day of the election, we all came together for one purpose, and I actually felt proud to be an African American....and when November 5th came, it was if none of these events took place, like the battery was taken out of us as a culture...we went dead. Why is it that we can come together as one for the major things, but the small things that matter we always have to be crabs in a fish bucket...I dont get it man i really dont...It makes me sad. And im officially tired of Atlanta right now, that ignoranance, the MEN, the public transportation, the retail work...Lord im holding on but sometimes i feel like im going to loose it. As Danity Kane sings....Is anybody listening? Can anybody answer my prayer?? Please say Yess.... This is A.E. siging off

LIFT EVERY VOICE AND SING

This is A.E. back with another thought...


As I opened my eyes this morning, I couldnt help but smile and rub my red eyes from the previous night. I havent slept actually..I was up crying and rejoicing at the same times...I was dancing and singing ..hell I was doing alot of things that just came to my mind because in my wildest dream I would never know one day I would wake up and be able to say:

I HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT ...

This goes further than Mr. Obama...this goes back to my ancestors, to the mistreatment of me and my friends because of our skin color, this goes to the mistreament of my mother growing up in segregated America..this goes to my great great grandmother who was a slave, this goes to the elders befoe my time who fought and fought for this experience to happen...this goes to that little guy that i seen on Tv who delievered a speech when he say that now he can say that he could be anything he wants to be because this man has been chosen by us to lead this country. For this quick moment..I stopped thinking abou tmy sorrows, about my lonliness , about my troubles that I face...About the fact that I have no Tv or that the second job i was supposed to get played me off...I forgot my homesicknesss...I forgot about even eating because I was so got damn happy that OBAMA won....Even writing about it now sometimes gets me caught up because We as a people have fought so hard and endured even more to live to see this day....I am a part of history now aNd I am happy ..I am happy.....I am happy...whoever reads this...Just know that I am a firm beleiver now...as he said in his speech..that dreams do come true and Got dammit Im gonna fight long and hard to accomplish my dream.....


Glory be to GOd for this event............


This is A.E. singing off.................................GOT DAMMIT WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!!!!!


OBAMA!!!!! BLESS YOU

Moving On Up

Hey guys ...A.E. back from a little drought to update yall on my drought

Whats going on readers??? I am glad to say that Im officially in my own place now..So let the horrible rent stories begin! Lol, nah Im just kidding but yeah Im finally here lol. Im having a few tech. difficulties right now, but hey im happy that I am here. Its a lil quiet in my life right now, I guess cause for the past two months I was around my screaming lil cousins and the whole family so everyday it was live in there, but now that Im alone (well i have a roomate but he not here right now), I gues im truly hearing the quietness of Ga...damn, its crazy. Today, I got a very wonderful surprise from my cousin speaking of family, she called me and told me she was coming over, and in her hands were groceries...I was shocked out of my ass because I was actually on my way to shop but she lightend my load alot and I couldnt be more grateful for what she done. My little brats were with her and they was so excited to see me, I guess my presence really does matter to people after all, AWWWWWWWWWW... REguardless of how much you fight and argue with your family love them with your all cause I know with mines when times get tough, they really have my back just like I will have thier! : )


Now, I am still looking for job number 2, but i know soon enough itll come to me. What I have realized in this journey is that I have eyes watching me in that wonderful place called Heaven, and those eyes have always watched my back, and I think it was just proven this morning. So I guess im still gonig thru this to toughen me up and humble me down in the same respect so that when i start my voyage as an Entertainer, Ill be ready. Im still waiting to hear from some jobs though, so I hope this one job in particular calls me because it revolves around music and entertainer and HELLO thats what my life is so...Ill pray just like I did before I got my license lol. Till then ill just be strectching more and more in my pockets until something pulls thru. But like I said Im just glad I can focus more a guess in the quiet. i have a couple of songs to wrtie and dances to create lol. And MY SINGING HAS IMPROVED...ahhhh sruggle will be real rough but there are many hidden blessings in it, and rather then me fixating on the bad parts of it, Im going to start searching for option number 2. lol Welcome to my story




this is A.E. signing off and telling all....VOTE OBAMA!! even for lil ol me :)